5 Weeks

I am 5 weeks along with little bean #2. I’ve been feeling pretty good this week and have been trying to not freak out completely. The future is so unsure at this point that I have been trying to think no farther ahead than the next day.

Little Bean is the size of a sesame seed this week and is starting to develop organs, specifically, his/her little heart! Sometime this week, Bean’s heart will start beating!

I am exhausted all the time but evenings are the worst. I’m ready to crawl in bed when we put Ben down at 7 and making dinner is almost impossible! Of course, I can’t actually sleep through the night either because I have to pee at least twice each night. I haven’t been nauseous yet but have had a few random dizzy spells. I don’t think I got dizzy with Ben at all but apparently it’s not uncommon, especially during the first trimester. My sense of smell is more sensitive than it used to be so I spend the day trying to get rid of random smells I find in the house.

Two things I was concerned about before getting pregnant were resolved this week. As I mentioned in this post, our health insurance charges a $70 copay for specialists visits and while I would definitely pay that without question if I were to see a specialist, because my OB’s office has the name “specialist” in the title, they had to charge $70 instead of $40, the regular office visit copay. Today I got a check in the mail for $30, which I can only assume is the extra money I paid in August when I was prescribed Clomid and that I don’t have to pay $70 each visit! That would have gotten extremely costly by next May!

I was also concerned about the cost of the progesterone prescription. I called the nurse line at the OB’s office last Wednesday or Thursday to ask if the doctor wants me on progesterone again this pregnancy. She called back to tell me that their policy is that once you are prescribed progesterone for one pregnancy, you get it for each one after. Unfortunately, our insurance doesn’t cover the kind I was on while pregnant with Ben (Crinone Gel 8%) BUT there is an oral capsule version that the OB is willing to use instead and instead of costing $500+ per month like the Crinone, it was only $35! According to the pharmacist, the medication went generic within the last year so the cost dropped dramatically! Yahoo!

I am still nursing Ben but we’ve cut it down to just wake up and bed time feedings. He is offered milk from a cup after naps and isn’t given the option to nurse. I am hoping he is a little less dependent by the time my milk dries up or I have to quit because feeding two babies at once is too taxing on my body. He is being stubborn about the milk but I can be more stubborn than he is!



CD: 6, Clomid Day: 4 (1 more day)

I’m sitting on the couch with the air conditioning on, wearing a tank top and yoga capris and am radiating heat. I forgot the degree of intensity that these hot flashes have. It’s been almost 2 years since my last round of Clomid so there was plenty of time to forget. So far, things seem to be going well. The side effects have been kept to a minimum (only hot flashes) and I don’t think I’ve been overly grumpy or scary hormonal. B is thankful!

Getting pregnant again freaks me out for many reasons. The chance of conceiving twins with Clomid is so much higher than normal conception (7-8% higher I think) and I am a small person. Twins as our 2nd and 3rd babies would definitely be a lot more difficult, baby gear-wise, than the first because I don’t expect showers this time around. Buying another car seat, crib, cosleeper, clothes, diapers is an overwhelming task!

Our health insurance changed after I quit my job too and already this insurance is driving me crazy. My OB’s office is a “specialist” only because they do offer specialized services in addition to their regular OB practice. Just because their name includes “specialists,” my copay is $70 each time I go in instead of $40. That’s a huge jump! Some of the medications I was on last time, like the progesterone (Crinone Gel 8%) is only a brand name and is classified as an infertility drug so, of course, insurance doesn’t cover it at all. The out of pocket price surprised me; its over $500! I’m not as concerned about that one because I know there is an oral progesterone option that you can get from a compounding pharmacy like certain Walgreens, with or without insurance, for $50 or so per month. Still, maternity care is much more expensive this time around than last time.

Even though I get overwhelmed from time to time, I don’t want to stop, slow down, or wait. The timing is right for us, even though I can’t keep from worrying but I doubt I worry more than the average prospective mother. Our finances have never been in better shape (debt free!!!!!!), I am home with Ben every day and B is working from home so we can share the load on days that I just can’t hack it. We have close friends who love us and will pray us through another pregnancy and family who is always willing to help. The house is in good shape (except for yard work, don’t even go there!) and we have space for 2 more babies, should we end up with twins. Life is good.

We’ve been thinking about replacing the carpet in our family room because it’s in rough shape. The previous owners had 3 kids and a dog and the carpet is white, at least the parts between stains are! We have had it professionally cleaned and it still hasn’t improved much. We spend so much time on this floor that softer, less gross carpet would be wonderful. We don’t want to overstep our financial abilities (see: debt free, finally) but at the same time, both of us realized that it would be easier to move all the furniture, rip out the carpet, pad, and a million staples now when I’m not nauseous or too round to crawl around the floor and those things could happen within the next 6 months! I don’t plan on anything but hope for everything at this point. I’d be thrilled if this first round worked! So, it looks like we’re getting new carpet that feels like a stuffed animal and makes me want to rub my face on it! This is what we picked out, if you are curious.


Provera Worked!

The Provera worked! I was very worried that it wouldn’t since last time I took it for longer but apparently those worries were pointless.

Today is CD1 and I start taking Clomid on CD3. I’m excited and anxious all at the same time. Since I’m starting at 50 mg, there is a chance it won’t work for several months and I’ll go back to Provera to try again. I’m praying it will work at a lower dosage this time!


All Systems Go

I had my appointment with the OB this morning. I chose to talk to the same doctor who treated me after my miscarriage two years ago and prescribed the Clomid that gave us Ben. He doesn’t have the best bedside manner simply because he doesn’t sugarcoat anything and I appreciate that. A friend of mine who goes to the same practice avoids seeing him whenever possible because she likes her doctor to be more sensitive. Apparently, I just like the truth!

When he walked in and asked what I made the appointment for, I told him straight out that I’d like to have another baby but was concerned about a repeat of last time (2+ years of trying, miscarriage, and multiple medications). He immediately asked if I wanted to try Clomid again! I didn’t think it would be that easy. I figured he would want to try waiting longer or another medication first but he didn’t.

I walked out of there with a prescription for Provera to start a cycle and Clomid for days 3-7. The prescription was written as 50 mg daily even though it took 100 mg daily last time for it to work. I’m supposed to take 50 mg for several months both to see if a lower dose would possibly work this time around and so my body doesn’t go into shock and send out too many eggs at once. I already took my baseline pregnancy test (negative) so it looks like I’ll be starting Provera tonight!

Here’s hoping we get another one of these really soon!



State of the Uterus: July

Not pregnant, not even trying really.

I still haven’t gotten a period or had an OPK come up positive. I have noticed a bit more CM than a month ago and had horrible cramps yesterday but other than that, there isn’t much to report.

On the bright side, only 2 months until Ben is a year old and we can work on weaning and possibly taking some positive steps toward baby #2!


June TTC Update

I’ve been avoiding a TTC update because there is nothing to share. Today is cycle day 66ish and I haven’t seen a single sign of a period so far. I’ve been using OPKs as well and every single one has been negative. I’ve been avoiding calling the OB too since I’m fairly certain they’ll tell me that if we seriously want to pursue TTC again, I’ll need to wean Ben and stop breastfeeding to see if that is causing the anovulation and amenorrea. I’m not ready for that yet plus we’ve yet to get Ben to take a bottle or cup with any kind of regularity.

So, it’s been hard to make myself test for ovulation because I have a hard time believing that anything will be different this time around. I (we) really wanted our kids to be close in age and I’d LOVE to be pregnant again but that will take some serious commitment on my part.

Does anyone have anything encouraging to say? I’m already frustrated and we’ve barely started!