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40+2

Another revelation at my OB appointment yesterday was that they’ve always considered my due date to be September 28, not 29, so by the time I walked into their office, I was already overdue. I’m thinking that date came from an early ultrasound but I stuck with the 29th because I know better than they when this baby was conceived. It is only to my advantage that they think I’m farther along than I do because they’re more likely to act earlier.

I’m still frustrated and ready to be done with this pregnancy. I have had to pull away from Facebook because I only get anxious when I see women who were due after me having their babies yet mine is stubbornly staying on the inside. I can’t even check the pregnancy forums anymore because its too depressing.

I spent some time explaining to a friend (without children) the different factors that affect when a woman goes into labor. It’s not just the dilation that the doctor is keeping an eye on but also how thinned, shortened, and softened the cervix is at the time of the exam. I may be dilated more than most women are by the time they hit active labor but for some reason, the rest of those factors aren’t falling into place. I’m hoping that this means that once I get to laboring, it will be short. I must be close and has some fantastic contractions last night but today everything has been pretty quiet. We keep praying and hoping but it isn’t easy.

UPDATE
I experienced significant cramping and (TMI) diarrhea this evening, just in time to miss Ben’s bedtime. Now I’m laying in bed and baby is bouncing all over the place. What are you doing in there, Son?!

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40 weeks

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All I have to say about 40 weeks is ugh.

Just kidding, I have lots to say.

I honestly never thought that I’d make it to this point. Ben came earlier than this, I’m an efficient laborer. It couldn’t happen to me. Oh yes it can. Second babies are here to show us we know nothing. I am frustrated out of my mind that simple daily living is so dang hard. Washing dishes hurts, taking a shower leaves me winded. Forget about chasing a toddler!

I’m less miserable that I could be, I suppose, but I am very much over being pregnant. The end goal wasn’t the pregnancy but the baby that should be here soon and I want soon to be now. He is definitely carrying really low and makes it hard to sleep through the night. A good night is two bathroom trips, a bad night is waking up with Ben, B snoring, 3+ bathroom stops, and not being able to fall back asleep because I’m so uncomfortable.

I go to my 40 week OB appointment this afternoon at 3. If you all could be praying for that meeting, we’d appreciate it a ton. Ideally, I would naturally go into labor before my appointment or a third membrane sweep will trigger labor and we won’t have to plan any sort of intervention beyond that. I’d be happy with a sympathetic doctor who will listen and help make a plan within the next few days for me to be induced. In my mind, worst case scenario is being told they won’t do anything until after 41 or 42 weeks. I literally don’t think I’d be able to walk by then! I’m afraid of the pain of the sweep and that it will be wasted (I’d rather have labor contractions!). I’m afraid of being told that I haven’t progressed at all since the 3-4 cm I was at 38 weeks. I’m afraid of being induced. I’m afraid of something being wrong with Baby 3 and that’s why he hasn’t arrived yet. There’s nothing I can do until the appointment but pray so that’s what I’ll be doing today.

UPDATE
I had yet another cervical check and the OB said I am 5cm (ish) and 70% effaced. This is enough progress that she didn’t believe that another membrane sweep would do anything but not enough progress where she was willing to break my water today. She didn’t want to schedule any sort of medical intervention until after 41 weeks but was willing to see me again in 3 days and just maybe I’ll have made enough progress to break my water and let me labor from that point. I’m frustrated with this child’s resistance to being born and how hard everything is right now. I’m trying not to think about how much this week is going to suck.

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39+4

Still here, still pregnant. The waiting seems pretty endless at this point.

Ben has been sick for over a week. The doctor confirmed that it really is just a cold and that we’re doing all we can to make him comfortable and help him heal but it’s lingering. B seems to always get Ben when he’s happy during the day but I’ve born the brunt of angry, upset, snotty, crying toddler for the last week. He isn’t sleeping like usual so we’re both awake earlier than normal and dealing with a crying boy during naps (so there’s no chance I can nap). I keep praying Baby 3 will show up soon so I can have a bit of a break.

I know, labor isn’t a break but it’s the closest thing to one that I’m going to get for the foreseeable future.

Lord, please convince this baby to come soon!

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39 weeks

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I’ve been saying that baby feels like carrying around a watermelon for weeks already but now it’s official. Baby is large, has run out of room, and has been told to get the heck out of dodge.

Ben arrived at 39+1 and while I would really love Baby Brother to come today or tomorrow, I think I have mentally prepared myself to bake this one longer. That doesn’t mean I won’t have several meltdowns this week; I’m sure those will happen regardless.

My ob appointment last Thursday was a huge disappointment. I was still only dilated to 3-4 cm, even after the painful membrane sweep from week 37. I had the doctor do it once more (had lots of cramping but less blood and no mucus) but it didn’t push me into labor over the weekend. At this point, I’m willing to skip all internal exams until baby decides to show up on his own. They aren’t worth the trouble and I have the baseline data that we wanted. I was really uncomfortable yesterday with tons of cramping and lower back pain but that fizzled out after a few hours. I go back to the OB for my 39 week appointment tomorrow and I’ll likely ask what their induction policy is, since I have no clue. There’s a chance I’ll go to 41 weeks even though I can’t imagine being able to function 2 weeks from now!

Both Ben and I caught a cold that is going around so we’re trying to get both of us better as quickly as possible. It definitely isn’t the worst cold I’ve ever had because I feel pretty much normal during the day. Nights bring on the congestion and post nasal dripping but that can be managed with sudafed and lots of water.

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Two!

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“So here’s to a child who is joyful and clever. Happy day, happy year, happy always, and ever!”
Happy Birthday Pookie by Sandra Boynton

Happy birthday to our big boy, Ben! It’s hard to believe how much our lives have changed since you arrived but I wouldn’t want it any other way. We are proud of the little person you are and are excited to see how awesome you grow up to be. Love you, Benny Buddy!

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38+3

The pregnancy that never ends…

My OB appointment was this afternoon. I asked for another cervical check and membrane sweep and the doctor told me that I haven’t dilated any more than the 3-4 I was last week. After how incredibly frustrated and crampy I’ve felt for the last week, this was very depressing to hear. I did get another sweep but I won’t be asking for either of them again. It’s not worth it.

I don’t remember getting this upset and depressed about how useless I felt last time. There is a huge difference between being pregnant with your first and expecting another while trying to raise a toddler. I feel like a horrible mom because I can’t manage to do anything fun with Ben anymore. We haven’t been able to have a Grammy day in weeks, B is working extra again, and we simply can’t afford more mother’s helper time. Money is tight enough as it is and we thought we had tenants lined up for our old house but that fell through so we’re on the hook for two mortgages next month.

I am just so done

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38 weeks

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38 weeks and how do I feel? Done, done, done, done, done! Carrying around this pumpkin is exhausting!

Obviously, the membrane sweep last Friday didn’t start labor but I’m fairly certain it got me closer. I believe I lost my mucus plug Saturday and baby has dropped so low that my mom joked that he’s going to crawl out on his own. My contractions have picked up in both frequency and intensity but there hasn’t been anything to time yet.

I broke down early last week out of frustration. I am beyond exhausted most of the time and there’s not much we can do about it. I love Ben dearly but sometimes I wish the end of this pregnancy could be like the end of his: at home with no responsibilities except sleeping in and walking as much as I am capable. Chasing around a toddler is not at all relaxing. I’m looking forward to my mini vacation in L&D!

We hosted Ben’s birthday party yesterday for just us and our parents. We kept the decorations simple (Toy Story decorations hanging from the ceiling in the dining room and Toy Story cupcake picks) and the menu simple (MIL brought fruit salad, my mom made cream cheese filled cupcakes and ramen salad, we provided lettuce salad and pizza). This was no Pinterest party but it was exactly the kind of party a two year old could enjoy.

We’re glad we kept it small because Ben woke up and suddenly everyone was there and it was pretty overwhelming for him. After at least 20 minutes of stubborn refusal to do anything, we offered him some “fruit candies” aka fruit snacks and he warmed up to the idea of being the center of attention.

He was mildly interested in the card B’s parents have him (“Monies!”), substantially interested in the V-Tech garage that matches the train set he plays with nearly every day, and didn’t want to do anything but play as soon as he saw the kitchen my parents brought for him! It took a lot of convincing to feed him dinner and even then, he stopped 3 bites from the end and asked to get down so he could play with his dishes. Hooray! Getting him a kitchen for his second birthday was definitely a good choice and would recommend it if your toddler has started to play pretend (Ben likes to fake feed cereal to toys and has a set of milk cartons
that he’s always bringing over to us to “drink”). B said he got some great photos of the party so hopefully I’ll be able to share those sometime before Ben graduates from high school.

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