Not an Update

If you peeked in the comments of my last post you already know that the lab wasn’t able to get the results of my second quantitative hCG draw to my OB by the time they closed on Friday. My nurse did call me to tell me the lab reported that the results would be available later Friday night but that didn’t do me too much good.

I have been feeling pretty good for the last few days. The last time I spotted was Wednesday and that was just a tiny bit. The cramping has lessened and even most of the back pain has disappeared. I have so much hope and anticipation for this pregnancy but I have an equal amount of terror that this will be another mark on my already unbalanced pregnancy history.

I am trying to enjoy and be thankful for this pregnancy, however long it lasts. There have been too many months that I would have welcomed this awful in-between state over not cycling or many other issues.

I know that God did not plan infertility or loss of a child, no matter the gestational age, into the world but then came people, who did their own thing in spite of their perfect surroundings. I can accept having to live through the consequences of my own sins like what happens after lying, cheating, stealing, etc but dealing with losing multiple babies just because humans are broken? It isn’t my fault; I didn’t do anything wrong! This may be a struggle I’m trying to figure out for the rest of my life.

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